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Panty and Stocking Vs. The Powerpuff Girls
Original = Panty and Stocking Vs. The Powerpuff Girls is the ninth installment of Moleman's Epic Rap Battles. It features the superpowered sisters Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup, aka the Powerpuff Girls, facing against Anarchy sisters Panty and Stocking. It was released on September 12, 2013. Cast Chelsea Kuehl as Panty and Buttercup Anna Valenzuela as Stocking, Blossom, Scanty (cameo), and Kneesocks (cameo) Paul Bergen as Garterbelt and Brick (cameo) Ava Tehrani as Bubbles Molemanninethousand as Announcer Lyrics Panty: Let me try to make this Brief: We've got artsy, sexy style; we're the Daughters of Anarchy. We sure as fuck won't lose to you bug–eyed, motherless monstrosities! I'm an angel; you were made by accident like Mr. Hyde. Go jump on the nearest asteroid and catch a one–way ride. Think we'll go easy on you three just because you're five years old? FUCK THAT SHIT! I'm perfectly willing to put bullets in your skulls, And I mean fucking bullets, not your mutated squirrel friend. I'll shoot you dead, and you'll be done: no more specials, the end. BOOM–HEADSHOT! I'll blow you up just like your retard sister, Bunny, Then do the same to your fucking ghosts and make some cold, hard money. What we've got going on makes fucking South Park seem tame, And I'm proud to say that my sex life puts Glen Quagmire to shame. In short, me and my sister here are serving up more pandemonium Than I did in bed last night with Professor Utonium! But wait, there's more! Right after finishing fucking your creator, I spent this morning screwing with your old pal, the Narrator! Blossom: Shut your fatherfucking mouth before I'm forced to smack a bitch. You're the biggest slut I've ever seen outside of Maury Povich! Yeah, I don't normally swear, but with you involved, it's a moot point, So screw Chemical X! I'm opening a can of Whoopass in this joint! You don't scare me one bit with that undie–gun you're packing; If you're a maneater shark, I guess that makes me the Craig McKraken! You clearly think you're a sex goddess, but let me ask you this: Have you ever literally killed a boy with a single kiss? You'll impale yourself on anything remotely resembling a wang; I bet you'd even have a gang–bang with the Gangreen Gang! Compared to you, even Sedusa looks like a freaking nun. I wouldn't be shocked to learn you even ate a piece of poop once! Go to Hell, you whore, and suck Dick Hardly's hard dick. I'm a commander and leader, while you're dumb as a brick! ???: Yo, you call, Blossom? (*The Rowdyruff Boys appear!*) Brick: Yeah, the boys are back in town! ???: Well, if they get to join this battle, then so do we! (Scanty and Kneesocks appear!) Scanty and Kneesocks: Step aside, skanks! Brick: Well, I love eating bug– Announcer: NOPE! NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE! THIS BATTLE IS BIG ENOUGH ALREADY! GET OUT, ALL FIVE OF YOU! …I MEAN IT, SCRAM! (Scanty and Kneesocks and the Rowdyruff Boys are banished back to pop–cultural limbo) Announcer: UM… JUST… UM… FORGET THAT EVEN HAPPENED. CONTINUE, GIRLS, CONTINUE. Stocking: Um… okay then… I Want You fingerless freaks to Fly Away Now. You may have brute strength, but word–wise, you fight like a cow! Slut–shame Panty all you want; You think she gives a single fuck?! More of those are given whenever we kill our pet, Chuck! Unlike her, though, I don't mess around… well, at least not as much; I'll be on my A–game just as long as I can hold this sugar rush. I'm a credibly–badass, sword–toting lolita. You're incredibly outmatched; go back to fighting amoebas! This bitch is the fiercest goth there's been since the sacking of Rome, And she's screwing you more severely than could any Communist gnome! There's nothing you can do about it: I'm going to beat you, And, given what you're made of, I might as well also eat you! Only a suicidal person comes between me and my sweets, And NO, I don't give a fuck that I "should" be obese, Because I'm not! So don't you dare tell me to go on a diet! Now, try hitting me with something I didn't just call. Go on, try it! Buttercup: I'm starting to seriously question this battle's validity; That is, I'm starting to think that you're our direct parody! You seem to be just like us, only perverted and twisted. I'd call you our Japanese doppelgängers, but those already existed! Wait, are you even Japanese? It's hard to tell with all that Engrish, Though if you want to be REALLY confusing, you should use some Mo' Linguish. They made you with too much sugar, and your sister too much spice, While forgetting to add anything even remotely nice! Moreover, when they made you, I'm pretty sure they were on crack! And by the way: Invader Zim called. He wants his sidekick back! You fight demons, yes, but you're no morally different from them, And speaking of those incestuous bitches: they've got nothing on HIM! Against ridiculous odds, we've kept Townsville nice and clean, While your Daten City, just like you yourselves, is obscene! It's a Hellhole, literally; you somehow even have a mayor That makes ours look like Mike Haggar; you haven't a prayer! I'm taking it on myself to put you down where you belong. Your mother should have long since stomped you out like Monty Python! Garterbelt: The name is Garterbelt, better known as the Master G, And I will personally smite the Announcer if he attempts to dismiss me! You shouldn't even be surprised that I'm joining this battle; Those two bitches and I are a trio; look, I'm in the goddamn title! While it is indeed commendable, your efforts in fighting crime, Your experience is NOTHING, hear it: NOTHING next to mine! I've been here, observing history, since the beginning of time, And that kind of worldliness makes for some killer skill with rhymes! While all the shit you've said about those hoes I mentor may be true, I'm basically Tony Montana as the Wandering Jew! I know of only a handful of things more badass than that, And I've seen it ALL! Even my hair is ready for combat! Bubbles: Go home and bind and gag yourself, you hypocrite pedo. You're just barely a better priest than Judge Claude Frollo! This is between us three and those two, so go away And let me spit the mad words that I'm about to say: To call you skanks angels is an insult to the Bible! You make Bartleby and Loki look like Gabriel and Michael. Even your fans all agree that, just like a certain "Princess", As well as the Grinch before her, you had the balls to ruin Christmas! You're even less worthy to be wearing those halos Than the "angels" in a certain other program by your studio, Which, seriously, both of you procrastinating heathens Really ought to go back to to make that second season! Us three have saved the day literally hundreds of times. We're the most enduring icons of a network in its prime! Our series is a modern classic amongst all demographics. Yours is psychopathic, not to mention damn–near pornographic! You two aren't merely "naughty"; you're outright depraved, While we three manage to be both badass and well-behaved. See, we don't need an X–rating to be cool. Altogether now: All PPGs: POWERPUFF GIRLS RRRRRRUUURRULE!!! Stocking: Oh, and by the way, I'm a demon. (Kills Panty, screen explodes) Announcer: ………WHAT THE FU– (*"Technical Difficulties" screen*) …Um…Who Won, Who's Next, I Decide, yada yada yada… I'm sorry, but WHAT THE FU– (Cut to static) Poll Who won? Blossom, Bubble, and Buttercup Panty, Stocking, and Garterbelt Trivia * Molemanninethousand considers this battle to be one of the worst he's ever done (along with Penelope Vs. Gadget Hackwrench), which is why he later remade it. Gallery |-|Remake = Panty and Stocking Vs. The Powerpuff Girls (The Unshitty Version) is a remake of the ninth installment of Moleman's Epic Rap Battles. It was released on August 8, 2015. Cast Anna Valenzuela as Blossom, Stocking, and Scanty Courtney Kuba as Buttercup Ava Tehrani as Bubbles Rebecca Sewel as Panty Joseph Sylvers as Garterbelt Henry Navarro as Brick Griffin Oldenkamp as Boomer CheatsyThePimp as Butch Andrea Esparza as Kneesocks David Ohlsen as Corset Molemanninethousand as Announcer and Zim (cameo) Lyrics 'The Powerpuff Girls:' (Blossom is in Bold, Bubbles is in Italics, Buttercup is Underlined) The city of Townsville ain't big enough to fit the both of us! Head right back to your hellhole turf and find some shitty ghost to bust. These pint-sized kaiju-killers pack a pulverizing punch! We've got the skill to put you fallen rejects' namesakes in a bunch! There's no way I can sugar-coat your fast-impending verbal smacking; When our rhymes release, they'll pull you under like a Craig McKraken! Plus, that undie gun you're packing doesn't frighten me one tittle; In contrast to Mayor's snack troubles, you're sincerely in a pickle. When this Buttercup builds up her spicy flow, she won't let down; Sure as love makes the world go 'round, there'll be no mercy for you clowns! My mouth is like a can of Whoopass while I spit these mad tongue-twisters At this Gangreen Gang-banged skank and her prediabetic sister! Everything nice may be on our list of primary ingredients, But think twice if you'd try to freedom-beef with us, you deviants! What's with your Daten dialect? I scarcely can distinguish; Your gratuitous linguistics are confusing as Mo' Linguish Calling you rank harlots "angels" is an insult to the Bible. You make Bartleby and Loki look like Gabriel and Michael! Powerpuff Girls Rule! You'd best repent. We hold the key to victory… …And See Through all our second set of wack Jap' doubles' trickery! 'Panty and Stocking:' (Panty is in Bold, Stocking Italics) Yo, turn those buggy Keane eyes' full attention to our corner, And get shown how shit goes down at Paradise and Hades' border! We outdo your tepid ventures just while sitting in the living room, So sod off on some comet; that's the only tip I'm giving you! Once these Daughters of Anarchy rev up our vocal engines, We won't need our mother's help to stomp you freaks out with a vengeance! We're the best! The baddest angels ever dreamt up by Gainax! Call us the Beat-Alls! …But no tricks of yours are splitting up our act. You fingerless mistakes can't match what we'll deliver through this bout! It doesn't take a brain the size of Mojo's figuring that out. Come at us with your Dynamo, and we'll out-damage-deal you still! Compared to our ace-artsy, sexy style… …You're straight-run-of-the-mill. We even make South Park seem tame! You softies better Fly Away Now. Crossing us, you'll never save yourselves, much less see through the day! Ow! We'll see you go up in flames just like your retard sister Bunny, Do the same thing to your fucking ghosts, and make some cold, hard money! I'll make your cross-dressing devil look as weak as an amoeba, When you're sliced to bits by this katana-brandishing lolita! Never go lite on my eating, and that carries over lyrically: Not since the sack of Rome's there been a Goth of such severity! I'll try to keep this Brief, but I've got something to profess: I made your daddy fill me up with his Chemical Triple-X! But wait, there's more! That's right, 'cause following my fucking your creator, I went right ahead and got with your old pal, the Narrator! 'The Powerpuff Girls:' (Zim is in Red) Captain Underpants should shut her fatherfucking mouth and listen: When's the last time that you literally killed a boy with kissing? If you lifelong-naughty-listers were based on us even partly, Your creators shamed our image more extremely than Dick Hardly! I'll knock more than Stocking's socks off when she gets her just desserts: A beatdown bigger than the size that ought to be this glutton's girth! Kick that sweet tooth straight down your throat, along with all the others too; Leave you your boyfriend Patrick's perfect match! And now we turn to you: Next to this whore, Sedusa's prudish! There's no rod you'll not hop onto. Bitch, you couldn't be more a piece of meat if Fuzzy Lumpkins shot you! Even all your fans agree that, like a certain spoiled Princess… …You aped off the Grinch's schtick and had the balls to ruin Christmas! We were made with love and caring! You were clearly made on crack. (*Powerpuff hotline beeps*) Hello? It's for you: GIVE ME MY ROBOT BACK! We'll be right back in action next year! …If not vocally as Strong. Hey, hope you don't mind if we ask how season two's coming along? 'Panty, Stocking, and Garterbelt:' (Garterbelt is Underlined) It's time to even out the odds… Hope you don't mind a late arrival. Bitches, P.S.G. is taking full advantage of its title! Master G with zero "E"s is here to give the mic a whirl; Know when I say I'll pump you full of bullets, I ain't talking squirrels! The Scarface version of the Wandering Jew's rap-mastery's eternal, But I highly doubt we'll see your blowing-up-to-bits' reversal! Unlike romance, you can trust I'll keep these verses going steady. Sugar-rushing at you hard! Even my afro's combat-ready! Hounding kindergarteners harder than our pet when he's unzipped! Like big-screen stardom, for the task of besting us, you're just not fit. We think outside the Sanitarybox to put you in your place… …With disses rich as any pudding, and you needn't wait to taste! When we're done dropping bombs on you like tissue wads on spermy soldiers… …You'll be envious of Chuck for being destroyed so few times over! 'The Powerpuff Girls:' Bedtime's drawing ever-closer, so let's wrap up with these nasty hacks… Well, Garter can go home and bind and gag his pederasty ass! We're C.N.'s most enduring stars! Straight-classic animation. You're as trashy of a fleeting fad as nasal masturbation. (*Fly away*) 'Panty, Sotcking, and Garterbelt:' Oh, so now they fly away? Hey, what the fuck; that shit's ridiculous! Aw, shut your hoe-ass mouths; I shouldn't have let you drag me into this! 'Announcer:' IT SEEMS THERE'S STILL SOME FIGHT IN YOU; IN FACT, IT'S UNAMBIGUOUS. THE GIRLS HAVE LEFT THE BUILDING, THOUGH, SO TRY ON THEIR ANTITHESIS… 'The Rowdyruff Boys:' (Brick is in Bold, Boomer is Italics, Butch is Underlined) Raise up! The boys are back in town! You bitches best be nervous! We spit ten times volatile as your average little scourges! Screw snips, snails and puppy tails, because we're made of downright dopeness! None can keep us in their custody. Your situation's hopeless! We love nasty things. Like boogers, BELCHING, Barf, And eating bugs! What else do you suppose became of Roach Coach and his ugly mug? A sweet transvestite brought us back and made us safe from cootie-kisses But we need no vaccination to withstand your puny disses! Man, we rule the streets Unstoppably! Designed for causing strife! The biggest one-shot breakouts since Steve Urkel! ROWDYRUFF 4 LIFE! Built tougher than a house of my namesakes! And marginally smarter! Hurling like a Boomer-ang, and cue that "OHMYGOD!" from Garter. Zingers stinging more severely than your Queen Bee ever could Your day is doomed when we launch our attack! Give up; you know you should. Plus, don't you pair us with the 'Puffs unless you want things getting gory… If you're talking Powerpunks, however, That's a different story! 'Panty, Stocking, and Garterbelt:' Damn, these pricks are spastic! Make like your teenager selves and mellow. When predicaments get drastic, I'd say: call on strange bedfellows! 'Scanty, Kneesocks, and Corset:' (Scanty is in Bold, Kneesocks is in Italics, Corset is Underlined) That's right, roll out that red carpet, and prepare for double trouble From the dopest demon duo and the most delicious couple! WINCEST! We're pushing all your buttons, sans the self-destructor And no Fastener will keep you put! We'll send you flying, suckers! It's these brats' last Judgement Day when we wage verbal prosecution! Though you didn't murder Stimpy, still you'll face electrocution! No attorney, ape or otherwise, shall grant you absolution! How you losers gonna school us when we run the institution? You're areek with instability, and lacking in camaraderie… But now this rap belongs to us. So get off our property! We've mass-replicated specters more substantial than you bastards! If you think you're in a bind now, though. Just wait and meet our master! It's your Final Fight if you'd mess with the mightiest mayor since Haggar; Potent purple people-pwner with a dominating swagger! It's no D.C. Confidential info that I'm full of tricks: Just when you think I'm gone for good, I'll be reborn out through your dick! The reverend says I lack restraint, but mic-control's a different deal; When Corset's curses course, it's like the gates of Hell have been unsealed! Now, to my sides, girls; be my weapons as we decimate these fools… We are the demons, we're dynamic, and you'll all bend to our RRRUUULLLEEESSS!!!!!!!!!!! 'Stocking:' Alright, that seals it, I'm joining them. 'Panty:' Huh? 'Garterbelt:' Wait, what the fuc-'' (*Explosion, maniacal laughter*) 'Announcer:' ''HMM… YOU KNOW, AFTER TALKING SWORDS, LIONS WITH SNIPER RIFLES, DESPOTIC PIGS IN ROBOT SUITS AND THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST, THAT REALLY ISN'T ALL THAT SHOCKING ANYMORE. Poll Who won? Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup Panty, Stocking, and Garterbelt Brick, Boomer, and Butch Scanty, Kneesocks, and Corset Category:Moleman's Epic Rap Battles Category:Season 1 Category:Chelsea Kuehl Category:Anna Valenzuela Category:Paul Bergen Category:Ava Tehrani Category:Molemanninethousand Category:Courtney Kuba Category:Rebecca Sewel Category:Joseph Sylvers Category:Henry Navarro Category:Griffin Oldenkamp Category:CheatsyThePimp Category:Andrea Esparza Category:David Ohlsen